Releasing Repressed Emotions After Trauma
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Releasing Repressed Emotions After Trauma
When we remember trauma, we’re not just recalling memories; we’re also waking up the lower emotions and energies stored within our bodies, waiting to be released. If these emotions aren't processed, they can leave us feeling trapped in the past, blocking our ability to experience peace. The more we repress these feelings, the more they become like sneaky little ninjas, waiting for the right moment to catch us off guard.
Repressing emotions is like taking out a loan—you’re buying time by avoiding them, but eventually, you have to pay up. And just like with a loan, you can choose your repayment plan. You can make small, regular payments by allowing yourself to process emotions gradually, or you can ignore them until the emotional "loan shark" shows up, demanding you face everything at once. The choice is yours and your body’s.
It's important to note that healing doesn’t mean these emotions will never come back. True healing is about learning to tolerate and move through them without resistance. Emotions, like memories, want to come to the surface to be seen, understood, and integrated. For me, one of the biggest mistakes I made in my healing journey was constantly assigning meaning to every feeling, thinking there had to be a logical reason for each emotion, instead of accepting them as remnants of my past.
If you've experienced childhood trauma that you haven't fully addressed, it’s likely that some of the emotions you feel in the present are actually unresolved emotions from your past. Below, I offer insights into a few of the more challenging emotions that can arise during your healing journey and some ways to work through them.
Grief
One of the deepest emotions that comes with trauma is grief. It’s not just about the loss of a part of yourself—it’s about mourning the life you thought you would have, the person you expected to become, and even the childhood you realize was stolen from you. Grief can feel like watching a version of yourself die, but one that you built your whole life around without realizing it. Working through grief isn’t predictable, and it can be confusing. You’re grieving the person you were, the choices you made that don’t feel like they were truly yours, and the way you saw the world before trauma shifted your perspective. It’s a journey of deep transformation, and it often feels like an "ego death" as you let go of who you thought you were.
Anger
Anger, especially the kind that comes from trauma, is often intense and overwhelming. It’s not just regular anger; it’s a deep, fiery rage that has been bottled up for years. If not expressed, it can explode in unhealthy ways. Early in my healing, I had no control over my triggers and would act out from that place of unprocessed rage. While releasing anger is necessary, finding healthy outlets is crucial. You can’t avoid anger; you must feel it to heal it. Whether through physical movement like stomping, boxing, or deep sighs, or quieter methods like journaling and ripping up the pages, the more you let yourself feel your anger, the less power it will have over you.
Shame
Shame is a heavy emotion for trauma survivors. It often makes us feel like we want to crawl out of our own skin. Shame from childhood trauma can feel deeply rooted, even though as adults, we understand that we were never to blame. But the body holds onto shame, especially in places like the stomach, where our personal power resides. Processing shame starts with acknowledging it and reminding ourselves that our worth isn’t tied to what happened to us. Over time, as we release shame, it loses its grip, and we begin to feel more comfortable in our skin.
When we remember trauma, we’re not just recalling memories; we’re also waking up the lower emotions and energies stored within our bodies, waiting to be released. If these emotions aren't processed, they can leave us feeling trapped in the past, blocking our ability to experience peace. The more we repress these feelings, the more they become like sneaky little ninjas, waiting for the right moment to catch us off guard.
Repressing emotions is like taking out a loan—you’re buying time by avoiding them, but eventually, you have to pay up. And just like with a loan, you can choose your repayment plan. You can make small, regular payments by allowing yourself to process emotions gradually, or you can ignore them until the emotional "loan shark" shows up, demanding you face everything at once. The choice is yours and your body’s.
It's important to note that healing doesn’t mean these emotions will never come back. True healing is about learning to tolerate and move through them without resistance. Emotions, like memories, want to come to the surface to be seen, understood, and integrated. For me, one of the biggest mistakes I made in my healing journey was constantly assigning meaning to every feeling, thinking there had to be a logical reason for each emotion, instead of accepting them as remnants of my past.
If you've experienced childhood trauma that you haven't fully addressed, it’s likely that some of the emotions you feel in the present are actually unresolved emotions from your past. Below, I offer insights into a few of the more challenging emotions that can arise during your healing journey and some ways to work through them.
Grief
One of the deepest emotions that comes with trauma is grief. It’s not just about the loss of a part of yourself—it’s about mourning the life you thought you would have, the person you expected to become, and even the childhood you realize was stolen from you. Grief can feel like watching a version of yourself die, but one that you built your whole life around without realizing it. Working through grief isn’t predictable, and it can be confusing. You’re grieving the person you were, the choices you made that don’t feel like they were truly yours, and the way you saw the world before trauma shifted your perspective. It’s a journey of deep transformation, and it often feels like an "ego death" as you let go of who you thought you were.
Anger
Anger, especially the kind that comes from trauma, is often intense and overwhelming. It’s not just regular anger; it’s a deep, fiery rage that has been bottled up for years. If not expressed, it can explode in unhealthy ways. Early in my healing, I had no control over my triggers and would act out from that place of unprocessed rage. While releasing anger is necessary, finding healthy outlets is crucial. You can’t avoid anger; you must feel it to heal it. Whether through physical movement like stomping, boxing, or deep sighs, or quieter methods like journaling and ripping up the pages, the more you let yourself feel your anger, the less power it will have over you.
Shame
Shame is a heavy emotion for trauma survivors. It often makes us feel like we want to crawl out of our own skin. Shame from childhood trauma can feel deeply rooted, even though as adults, we understand that we were never to blame. But the body holds onto shame, especially in places like the stomach, where our personal power resides. Processing shame starts with acknowledging it and reminding ourselves that our worth isn’t tied to what happened to us. Over time, as we release shame, it loses its grip, and we begin to feel more comfortable in our skin.
Guilt
Guilt often partners with shame. Many trauma survivors feel guilty for things that were never their fault. It can show up in irrational ways, like apologizing for things you didn’t do. Recognizing guilt and separating it from reality is key. A powerful practice for working through guilt is self-forgiveness. The Ho'oponopono mantra—"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you"—has been a life-changing tool for me, helping me release guilt that was never mine to carry.
Fear
Fear is a constant companion for trauma survivors. It’s the body’s natural response to danger, but sometimes it goes into overdrive, causing anxiety and panic when there’s no real threat. Fear, when unprocessed, can keep us stuck in cycles of worry and doubt. Recognizing when fear is valid and when it’s a remnant of the past is important for learning how to feel safe again.
Our emotions, especially those tied to trauma, are meant to be felt, not suppressed. While the journey of processing emotions is long and often painful, it’s essential for healing. Know that you're not alone, and that over time, these feelings become easier to manage. By honoring your emotions and letting them surface, you are allowing yourself to heal, little by little, from the inside out.
Guilt often partners with shame. Many trauma survivors feel guilty for things that were never their fault. It can show up in irrational ways, like apologizing for things you didn’t do. Recognizing guilt and separating it from reality is key. A powerful practice for working through guilt is self-forgiveness. The Ho'oponopono mantra—"I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you"—has been a life-changing tool for me, helping me release guilt that was never mine to carry.
Fear
Fear is a constant companion for trauma survivors. It’s the body’s natural response to danger, but sometimes it goes into overdrive, causing anxiety and panic when there’s no real threat. Fear, when unprocessed, can keep us stuck in cycles of worry and doubt. Recognizing when fear is valid and when it’s a remnant of the past is important for learning how to feel safe again.
Our emotions, especially those tied to trauma, are meant to be felt, not suppressed. While the journey of processing emotions is long and often painful, it’s essential for healing. Know that you're not alone, and that over time, these feelings become easier to manage. By honoring your emotions and letting them surface, you are allowing yourself to heal, little by little, from the inside out.